“Don’t give me that,” he says lowly. “I’m not just your neighbour. You know.”
Call me by what I am to you, he challenges silently; boyfriend, lover, enemy, rivals, these are all things that they are and are not. He dares Seikin to find a fitting term for them.
He’s dead now, months after Seikin. Months of bitterness, conflicting about him—this, what was between them. Love? He doesn’t know, but he both cannot stand being with or without Seikin.
He supposes he could say Seikin’s destroyed him, but that would mean being weaker than the other.
Seikin cups a palm against his cheek, cradles his face like they fit. Jules feels uneasy—he keeps anticipating a jerk of a hand to twist his neck, scrapes of sharp fingernails down his skin. It’s not healthy, it’s not safe. He knows.
He shoves it away.
“Wherever you’re heading, I suppose.”
» 「 光の死神 」 «
Seikin hummed nonchalantly. To find the right terms for them would be hard. A pervert who fell in love with Jules, which makes things really hard for Seikin… and yet, the other goes with his antics at times.
Even the more violent ones and the perverted ones too… it makes him worry that at some point, one of them would lose control and destroy the other.
» 「 You sure now, Ju-chan? I know but… 」 «
Despite the degrading honorific the other probably couldn’t tell whether Seikin is being nice or just being sarcastic. Seikin always use degrading honorifics like chan, tan, kun to everyone he knows of. That question alone is challenging the other.
Daring Jules to say what he thinks is between them. A toxic romance between lovers? Casual sex buddies? A one-sided love? Enemies determined to kill one another?
Perhaps all in one, hence why Seikin couldn’t really take on the other’s silent challenge.
Seikin knew the other would shove his hand away after a brief moment. It still stings, the other’s rejection. Then again, they are both dead. Somehow Seikin couldn’t bring himself to hug the other, to be glad that they were reunited. And yet he fingers ended up on the other’s chin in which Seikin tries to go for a kiss. Who cares if he get punched?
They are already dead.
» 「 Me? Probably hell. I don’t think you would be going there. 」 «
Hell? Seikin deserves it for sure. He has committed the sin of lust over and over again even at such a young age. One blames hormones, but if one follows the rules of whether ones goes to hell or heaven, Seikin would be at hell. The other, well…who knew what he does before Seikin has met of him?
